To wed or not to wed?
As I am pushing 30, I am slowly entering that phase where all my high school friends seem to be tying the knot at the same time. It’s like they all made some sort of secret pact to simultaneously walk down the aisle. When the high school sweethearts got engaged, I was not surprised- they had already begun exchanging vows in the sandbox and everyone was expecting to receive an invite any day now. When the old-fashioned friends – the ones who must be married before they’re 30 – decided to get hitched, I was not worried either because they always treated being single like a ticking bomb.
However, I did freak out when I was invited to see notorious Lotharios put a ring on it. Suddenly, I felt like I was destined to join the eternally single gals club. If there is one group that has been consistently looked down upon over the years, it’s that one. The thought of ending my days as an old maid only crossed my mind for a second because I do enjoy being single. With time, I decided to accept the fact that I am taking my time because it is better to wait than rush into things. After all, it`s not a race to the altar.
Do you think people should be married by a certain age?
Subscribe!
It does help to be married before 30 – probability dictates that you’ll find less and less potential matches as you grow older, because the rest of them are finding others – but it shouldn’t be a rule. Really, it’s up to the individual when he or she wants to put a ring on it.
when you’re ready to think more about the needs of another than your own selfish desires, you’ll be ready for marriage. when you’re ready to contribute to the world and are finished taking all you can from it and stuffing yourself with it until you either bust or die, then you’ll be ready for marriage. when you understand that marriage is a sacred union and an unfathomable responsibility and not a convenience or something to do because everybody’s doing it, you’ll be ready for marriage. until then, have fun growing up.
No, there is no age limit on when you should marry!
I have been with my boyfriend since high school, which was 10+ years ago for me. The thought that you should marry before a certain age is preposterous!
You should marry because you love someone at a time that works for you! OPtherwise you may be putting unnecessary stress on your relationship.
what the f*** is that supposed to mean!!!
I would say that there is no maximum age for marriage, but for the raising of a family and nurturing successful life-long relationship, the sooner the better.
People often defer marriage so they can pursue their selfish desires. Doing this for too long can poison a marriage where it is most important to think of the other person first.
I got married at 23, my wife was 21, and I couldn’t imagine a better age to do it. We each had a bit of time to explore the world on our own and gain a bit of maturity, but we don’t look back longingly for the care-free days of our singleness.
@ quanto sokolsky: Just because someone doesn’t get married, does NOT mean they are selfish, greedy people. That is just riddiculous. I know plenty of single people who make great contributions to the world, like volunteering, donating to charity, helping family and friends, taking care of their parents etc. Don’t assume things about people you don’t know anything about.
I think it does help, you have a partner to tough life out with you and all that. Theres nothing wrong with being single. just waiting for the perfect guy to come along. dont worry your waiting will pay off, you just have to believe it.
I agree that quanto sokolsky’s comment is ridiculous. Assuming that people who are married are mature and those who aren’t married need to grow up is absurd.
Ideally marriage should have only to do with the relationship, and not about how old you are. So no, I don’t think people should be married by a certain age. But it happens anyways. Especially for women who want to have children, and feel they are running out of time. Not a very romantic reason to get married, but to each their own!
I’m single and 61. It’s great! I’m so glad I didn’t marry. I have had the opportunity to do so much more with my life and help so many people just because I didn’t have my own family to consider first.
It hasn’t always been easy, but neither is marriage. One problem initially was that I was the only one in my family that was single and every time a crisis hit anyone in the family, I was expected to drop everything and go off to assist. I soon came to realize though that my life was not to be that of rescuer but of service to others.
Get happy in the skin you’re in now is my advice, in other words, live in the present and enjoy the Now. All the best to you.
Have you heard the joke about marriage? It is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering!
Being single is not shameful or embarrassing, it’s heaven! You get to play the field of dating without offending or upsetting the “bitter half”. It can also go in reverse order.
Live your life, not someone else’s dreams imposed upon you.
It depends on why you want to be married. If you’re a traditionalist and want to have the 2.2 kids, dog, suburbia home with the double garage, etc. then you’re probably best to be married by 30. If you’re going to be getting married as a symbol of your commitment to the love of your life, then it really doesn’t matter what age you do it at, if at all. I’m 21 and just got out of what I thought was going to be THE relationship and I’m quite OK with it because I’m not concerned about getting my list of “things I must do while married” done (I don’t have one). I’m just about to start off on an awesome career that I love (teaching the deaf, blind and deaf-blind), I have two wonderful dogs, rent a nice townhouse and am happy. I’m open to the idea of finding “the one”, but I’m not desperate to do so. If it comes, it comes, if not, I’m going to go on living the way that I think is best while getting to know some awesome kids through my volunteer work!
The people who put a deadline to things such as marriage are probably playing with themselves, other than the biology clock, woman have none else to worry about. It’s best to find out who you are first-and it takes some people a lifetime to find out just what their purpose is-while others can strategically plan exactley when they want to marry. It is easier to put a deadline on things such as marriage, but harder and next to impossible to find your soul mate. Then again, love takes time, relationships take compromisation, and who knows, that person you married that u never loved and still read your vows to, can turn out to be someone you love with time. Lastly, the perfect romance love stories can often crumble to peices because of financial disagreement or simply one person taking the other for granted.
Society puts you in so much pressure these days. But we have evolved in the sense that there is a duality in relationships between men and women alike. There is a definate decrease in marriage altogether an a definite increase in divorce. Strategists say that marriage may not even be a custome in our everyday culture very soon-but this is only the way of the west. If you are a traveller such as I myself, you will agree that the rest of the world stick stuck to their traditional customes and lie a fundamental importance in achieving marriage. Marriage, you can say, is a not so self deed, among all others.
The reason for all this talk about singleness is because society has shifted our basic social needs to marriage rather than extended family and more importantly, community. As a result, the single person today has no where to turn, where in the past they would have lots of time to spend with their parents, large close extended family, neighbours, etc. The plight of the single today is much more about modern alienation than about whether you marry or not.
You are totally NOT alone on this one. A person feels like the best ones are taken and that your biological clock is ticking. You are usually happy, but the odd time feeling a little lonely.Well for one thing – a lot of these friends that married years ago will have kids and a broken marriage by now. It sounds like a few of your friends waited until they were older too and now you are feeling left out. I’ll guarantee that it is better to wait for the right one to come along rather than have a life of h–ll, like a lot of people have that we all know. It would be better to stay single than be in an abusive relationship. I had a similar life to yours and people can be MEAN (like a few comments above) I could have been married a few times,but loved them as friends instead of someone to spend the rest of my life with–guess I just wasn’t ready to settle down when I was younger. When the right one comes along you’ll be happy you turned the others down! I waited until the right one came along (was 31) Have now been married for MANY extremely happy years,we have two wonderful grown up sons with lives of their own and wouldn’t change my life for anyone’s. – Hang in there, Mr.Right could be just around the corner. Wait for love, not convenience! Just relax and don’t worry, you could meet him at a club or wedding, work, etc. Good luck! I’ve talked to a few people that had the same feelings as you and BOOM Mr. Right came into their lives too, they just weren’t in the same town earlier.
You are totally NOT alone on this one. A person feels like the best ones are taken and that your biological clock is ticking. You are usually happy, but the odd time feeling a little lonely.Well for one thing – a lot of these friends that married years ago will have kids and a broken marriage by now. It sounds like a few of your friends waited until they were older too and now you are feeling left out. I’ll guarantee that it is better to wait for the right one to come along rather than have a life of h–ll, like a lot of people have that we all know. It would be better to stay single than be in an abusive relationship. I had a similar life to yours and people can be MEAN (like a few comments above) I could have been married a few times,but loved them as friends instead of someone to spend the rest of my life with–guess I just wasn’t ready to settle down when I was younger. When the right one comes along you’ll be happy you turned the others down! I waited until the right one came along (was 31) Have now been married for MANY extremely happy years,we have two wonderful grown up sons with lives of their own and wouldn’t change my life for anyone’s. – Hang in there, Mr.Right could be just around the corner. Wait for love, not convenience! Just relax and don’t worry, you could meet him at a club or wedding, work, etc. Good luck! I’ve talked to a few people that had the same feelings as you and Mr. Right came into their lives too, they just weren’t in the same town earlier.
What a fricking stupid question.
What the hell ever happened to women’s rights?
No woman in her right mind should believe that there’s an age limit on when to get married (Or even IF you should get married. In case you don’t know, it’s not necessary to get married.)
I can’t believe that there’s women out there who claim to be interested in women’s rights, and then ask dumb questions like this. If you really believe in eqality at all, this isn’t even a question.
I don’t plan on getting married until my thirties. I’m twenty three and have NO desire to get married or have KIDS. Egad! It’s so great being able to do what you want to do and have no one tied to me. I think people my age who are getting married and having kids are insane. I want to enjoy my twenties getting to know myself and what I want. Being 23, I know that I’d prefer freedom.
I’m not jealous of people who are getting married. In fact marriage just seems to be a big show. Being single is so great, I’m convinced I’ll never be able to live with someone, even if I am committed to them.
I think biologically speaking, if you want to have children, having them younger is probably better. Risks go up for women who have children past prime childbearing years. I’m not having kids either. I look at those those HAPPY families and wonder, “Am I truly missing anything?” My answer…ABSOLUTELY NOT.
If it’s what you want, go for it. But don’t expect it to be all hearts and roses. My true desire would be to have a day off, I think then I’d be happy.
Besides if all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do that too? lol Especially if they are going in head first?
I was right where you are. There just wasn’t anyone I could imagine spending every day of my life with. Then I met the man I couldn’t imagine NOT spending my life with. 23 years later I’m still completely in love with him. I don’t think it matters when you marry, it only matters who you marry!
Life is marathon of breathtaking moments, don’t miss them worrying about what you don’t have.
I can’t even think of getting married before 30, that’s ruining your life. It is better to live and enjoy your 30’s than to get married and fall under the big responsibilities, not to mention that if you have sons it is worse…
i think the reason why people should get married is if they are TRULY in LOVE.. not because they have an amazing sex life, or lots in common, or the same dreams.you love someone if you can stand their most horrible side.. and you should not marry someone because you feel like you will only look this good now. getting married is not about looking good or anything fany, its all about showing commitment to one another…. so think about it.. can you stand this persons BAD side, cn you trust him or her 100%, or can you see yourself doing everything you can to make things work?? if you do then say i do..
Ahhh, the age-old problem for us ladies approaching a certain age. Did you know that your dreams can reveal what you should do about this dilemma? For example: have you dreamed about running away from something lately? Keep track of your dreams and they will guide you.